There are a few moments that stick with me most assuredly: golden hour at the Palguin, kicking back after joy laps and the cries of Ibis overhead; a first-ever roll- one first-ever roll from one student, in particular- who had dedicated hours, weeks, months… years to the skill; listening to my words of instruction be repeated back to the group in Mandarin and watching my students heed those words through translation; and the giggles, hoots, hollers, and exclamations of surprise when aptitude surpassed the expectations of a young person.
I first joined H2o Dreams in July of 2013 when my life partner, Chris, issued a literal, “Who’s coming with me?!” call to action after a rough day at work; he promised that there was more on the horizon- always more, always possibility, always adventure. After years of dancing around adventure sports and outdoor programming in my then position and university diploma fresh in hand, my bright eyes and bushy tail accepted- if not a bit skeptically, at first- to dive headlong into the unknown with someone who had the conviction and vision to pursue a dream I felt worthwhile.
I never had any intention of teaching kayaking; that part just sort of fell into my lap as I quested to know more and more and more; often, I was unable or unwilling to do the things I thirsted after, but I still always inquired to know more. Eventually that led to shadowing and shadowing led to that insatiable quest to aid in the “Ah Ha!” look we so wanted for our students as pieces fell into place and new frontiers were uncovered. It was never about doing anything for someone else, it was always about holding the spotlight and illuminating the path for them to pursue, if they wanted.
Truth be told, the early days of my involvement with H2o Dreams were as motivated by days on the road and river with my partner as anything else; supporting programs- the way it happened at first, at least- was the vehicle. I ran many a shuttle, warmed many a meal, and filled many a peanut gallery in the background of our early programs just for the chance to live meaningfully and richly with people I really cared about.
Eventually, though, that early desire to tag along was eclipsed by curiosity of life on the front lines of programming and soon, I found myself shifting from support to facilitation, always driven by this quest to know more, do more, be more for my students. I reflect fondly on many deeply gratifying moments with students over the years, watching concepts and confidence click, watching challenge and adversity grow to mean something, even if not right away. I am grateful.
As with any venture, though, with growth and expertise comes a departure from the ‘good ‘ole days,’ and I soon found myself far removed from the original reasons why I came aboard to begin with; Chris and I were doing really cool things concurrently, but no longer together, and the days of living out of the back of the truck, munching on snack foods slathered in peanut butter to try and bank calories, and running shuttle together were a thing of the past. The truth was that we had built something that worked so well that it needed us to offer energy and resources independently- not collaboratively- to continue to hum. I know a part of each of us missed a bit of those early days and the closeness we found running programs together out the back of my ‘03 Ford Taurus… including the day the roof rack came loose and ultimately liberated on 74 and that night spent driving around in search of lodging during Leafer Season, ill equipped to “just crash in the back” that ultimately led to the purchase of the game-changing Suburban.
2020 was a year for us all, and for Chris and I, it was a year where we imagined ourselves as whoever we would be if push came to shove and we lost our business due to the circumstances of the pandemic. Who would we be if we couldn’t be who we always had been, together? Who would we be if we couldn’t do what we have always had done, together?
For those of you that know me well, you know I am slow to come around. I take a long time to make decisions, to process information, and to make radical changes in my life; I’m a slow burner. When 2020 held our feet to the fire, I watched Chris pivot with grace and determination to a new but congruent path that continued to fuel his passions while also broadening his horizons and opening more doors of opportunity and possibilities for himself. While he never had any intention of letting H2o Dreams go down without a fight, he did indeed have plans to continue to follow the driving ethos of creativity, passion, and drive that built our lives and organization from the ground up with purpose.
I admit, I watched with a bit of envy. Chris has always been so sure, so decisive, so willing to explore new corners of his world with little hesitation; he lets his passions and interests drive him so much. What would my life look like if I did the same?
When I took a step back to take a personal inventory during that time of uncertainty, I realized that teaching kayaking wasn’t where I ultimately wanted to end up; it was the nuts and bolts of it all- the hum of the organization, the little pieces that made us tick- that really fascinated me. I had become less interested in on-water facilitation of programming and more interested in the behind-the-scenes work that made it all possible.
With the world around me shifting and changing but ultimately still on pause, this introvert had an opportunity to think hard about what’s next, and that ultimately led me to wonder about life beyond H2o Dreams. What would my life be like if I took the skills and perspectives forged through the fires of small business ownership and high-stakes instruction… elsewhere?
As Chris packed his things and readied for life as a ‘non-traditional student’ at Appalachian State, I, too, was on the heels of something new and meaningful, and in November I accepted a position with an organization that had ultimately shaped my life’s path long before H2o Dreams, long before Chris, and long before I had any idea of what work in the ‘outdoor industry’ really meant. The opportunity to come full circle and work with the organization that had set me on a path of outdoor pursuit was, indeed, most enamoring.
It’s true, life is quite different now; I have a set schedule and a team to regularly connect with; my Saturdays and Sundays are unspoken for, and my dog has to wait for me to wrap up my work day before we can skive off to fetch and swimmies. But the downstream view is as provocative and invigorating as I remember it all those years ago… what’s beyond?
I am immensely grateful for the wild opportunities I’ve had over the years working with H2o Dreams: the incredible opportunity to push myself to (try and) become an authority on a subject, to share wild spaces with curious minds, to travel the world and discover secret corners and hidden moments with the most special of souls, and- my personal highlight- the chance to be young again by sharing discovery and adventure with kids.
As we forge the path ahead, we’ve frequently gotten the question, “So, is H2o Dreams done, then?” And the truth is that we couldn’t be farther from being done; our new, independent ventures continue to fuel fire and passion for mission driven work while making room for the talents, gifts, and drive of others to step into greater and deeper roles with our organization. I think if we’re honest with ourselves, we always knew there would come a day when we would be thrilled enough with our growth to be able- and perhaps more importantly- willing to hand off some of the reins to others… and boy, do we have some wonderful ‘others’ to hand the reins to.
So, while you might not see me on the water or catch me on the other end of the H2o Dreams line quite as often these days, I can promise that if I’ve learned anything at all it’s that I’ve learned we never stray too far from our roots. My heart and soul, blood, sweat, and yes, truthfully, some tears, have gone into building an organization- scratch that- an instruction culture that I’m damn proud of. I love what we do, I’m proud of what we’ve done, and I am humbled by those that continue to come through our ‘doors’ as both the most exceptional practitioners and the most eager and willing of students. I have no plans of ever wandering too far away.
More than anything, I want to thank you for the many years and many memories that have truly shaped me as a human being: capable, (hopefully more) compassionate, and still dead curious about the world around me. Strong and soft, confident and inquisitive, steadfast and pliant; I wouldn’t be me without you.
As we forge on, please keep a lookout for me on downstream; I’ll be the one in the black sunglasses with the mischievous smile, wondering what’s on ahead.. there’s always the chance for more post scripts, I think.
With gratitude,
Lydia
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